27th June 2008

We All Can Learn from the Knockoff Puffy E.T. Stickers

Puffy E.T. stickers
Puffy E.T. stickers

Okay, these cracked up my proverbial shit. Over at I Love This World, RenĂ© got these knockoff puffy E.T The Extra Terrestrial stickers for just $2 on eBay. $2! That’s what I call value. I mean, let’s take a look at these for a moment:

It all starts off as you might expect, with E.T. bopping merrily along in his glowy spaceship, apparently rocking out to some groovy tuneage on his totally boss headphones (with two antennae!).

Then, we learn that E.T. is a lefty, as he veges out in front of his favorite video game, with his unused right hand to his lips in pensive thought. But he doesn’t have the look of your standard tensed-up, video game-obsessed teen… no, his look is almost wistful, as if this game reminds him of a summer spent on the far side of his home planet… and he’s inspired to softly whistle a merry tune. I like this softer side of E.T.

Why, here’s another side of E.T. I like! It’s Get-Down Disco E.T.! He has got all the moves, and he wants you to come shake it with him! Come on, there’s a party in E.T.’s bathroom, and you’re invited! It’s BYOBathrobe, baby!

Whew! That’s quite a sweat we worked up, so now it’s time to get tidy. E.T. knows that all the good little boys & girls & whatevers need to scrub down, especially under their armpits.

Awwww… E.T. wants to show you his favorite panda. Hello, E.T.’s favorite panda! What a lucky panda you are to have such a friend.

HOLY CRAP. I’m sorry, I did not see this coming. The knockoff puffy sticker people killed E.T.! Or, at least hooked him up to some serious Muppet Labs-caliber equipment, so you know the best case scenario is that his head is going to explode.

Poor E.T. Such a fun-loving guy. Why couldn’t we just let him be? Why must we humans always kill what we do not understand? Thank you, knockoff puffy stickers, for showing me that sometimes an alien can be the better human. I am changed.

And now, I’m really, really wishing that I still had my E.T. latchwork pillow kit from when I was 8. Why-oh-why didn’t I find the wherewithal to finish it? I could be an eBay HUNDREDAIRE!

There are currently 5 responses to “We All Can Learn from the Knockoff Puffy E.T. Stickers”

  1. 1 On June 28th, 2008, MrBaliHai said:

    I have an shiny-foil E.T. Kleenex pack that I got in Japan back in the 80′s. I really should take a photo of it and post it.

  2. 2 On June 28th, 2008, Rene said:

    I want to see the ET kleenex.

  3. 3 On June 30th, 2008, MrBaliHai said:
  4. 4 On July 4th, 2008, william said:

    wow, those are..i dunno what. but i’m fascinated. any idea when they were made?

  5. 5 On June 22nd, 2009, Jennifer Brass said:

    I have this sticker pack. Is it worth anything at all? I also Have another sticker pack of E.T. That has a phto like picture of E.T. and Elliot on the packet. Can you tell me if this is legit? And if either of them are worth anything??
    I am soo glad I stumbled onto your site. I didn’t know one of them was a knock off.
    Thanks again!